Sometimes ego precedes talent, but this can be said for a lot of artists. I know some monster harp guitarists (similar fingerstylers), and Kaki is like 20 years behind them (but she's also at least 20 years younger). Maybe she'll lose the ego over time, and the road can make people punch-drunk, but I do sense a marketing thing going on and that's on both sides of the game. Sellling yourself is not easy business, and it's easy to lose integrity. Maybe she'll get it back (maybe she's reading this), or maybe she thinks people just can't understand her (not that they don't understand her).
That's too bad she didn't remember you, but I'm sure it was a "selective memory" thing and being in the proximity of the other musicians also might have made her try to act cooler than normal, or maybe she's too cool for her fancy shoes. Some people are like that (even good musicians). But like I said, it'll take her a while to get to the level of Michael Hedges, and if she's an indignant young aspiring artist, she will shun the comparisons (maybe rightly so...but I remember a party where some guy said some of my licks were like some guitarist I really respected...I just said no way Jose and blushed a bit...maybe that blush response gets suppressed when you've heard it so many times you get jaded, and that itself is also a sad thing).
Fame can be a trecherous monster, and those under the heat of the lights sometimes forget...but the true pros come out of that negative world and learn to grow beyond just their image of themselves or how they see themselves as this image that others have fabricated. It's really not about the image at all--but some artists use that image to sell product, and this is just the nature of the game.
I would say many artists play this game well, sometimes better than the music is worth, but the ones I like turn out to be pretty damned cool in person (especially the ones who don't remember me...it's easy to be pals with someone you remember, harder to be pals with a stranger or even still to remember your true friends after years on the road).
Now, did you forget to pay her for the CD or something?
Regardless of all these perceptual complexities, maybe sometime you can talk to her about it in private--but that's really doubtful. People really forget how reputation is built up and how easy it is to break it down. I try to cut some slack, but over time, and with much communication. Some folks turned out to be OK and others turned out to be even bigger jerks. We all can't get along and that's ok if we just enjoy hanging out with who we like (even if we expect our favorite musicians to be nicer in person, or be able to accept them when they're all swollen-headed and all).
I know more than a few bands who are thankful for people like Cleantone and I've talked to many tapers, bands, managers, club owners, girlfriends, boyfriends, a couple of dogs and I think I had a long conversation with a tree once or twice. Psychology is very tricky, some have a knack for it and some just find it easier to be jerks. I know I'm seen as a jerk sometimes (on the boards, work, etc), but really I'm just a hard-ass, and there's a big difference (maybe not so big to some). There is a fine line between being strong-willed and being egoistic...I try not to cross that line too often but every so often I read what I posted or listen to what I said and think "Man, I'm sounding like Kaki King now!"
You know, I used to put down floor tiles myself, but you ever try chopping wood with one hand? This brings me to another analogy about work and people, art and food...but it won't help us understand the things that bother us any better. Maybe it can help us deal with situations we don't like...but I always find talking about these things helps more often than not...the few times it doesn't can always be overcome and not talking at all really is just basic supression.
Which other aspiring artists are real jerks in person?
